Rediscover joy, intuition, and self-care by honoring your authentic self.
Do you remember yourself as a child and what it took to get you excited?
My perfect day involved swimming, basking in the sun, and letting my thoughts wander freely amidst the beauty of nature.
What was it for you?
Born complete, life’s experiences gradually eroded our inherent perfection. No one is to blame. The reason for our actions lies in the tradition of learning and teaching, which will endure unless we pause to question its relevance.
Somewhere along the way, you believed that growing up meant being responsible, that life wasn’t fun, that life was difficult, and that, as an adult, you shouldn’t be spontaneous or playful.
As babies, we instinctively respond to feelings and energy. We remain sensitive throughout life, but are often told, indirectly or directly, that our perceptions are inaccurate.
Also, children pay attention to actions rather than words, so whatever we were constantly exposed to growing up, we either mirror or behave in the exact opposite manner because “we don’t want to be like…”
So, what’s this got to do with me as a woman, you may ask?
As women, we are natural caregivers.
But we often prioritise the needs of others above our own.
It is time to empower yourself! This simply means giving to yourself, filling your soul. Only then can you truly give to others from a space of love rather than obligation.
If you are not used to attending to yourself as a priority, it may be a little awkward at first. However, by beginning with one or two small things, implementing them, and creating a habit, you gain the courage, strength, and confidence to do more.
Let me give you a very basic and simple example: The next time you feel thirsty and your body needs water, instead of putting it off, address it immediately. Everything else, within reason, can wait. If you’re in the middle of caring for a baby, then naturally you either take the baby with you or ask someone to bring you a bottle of water. As simple as this may seem, it sends a powerful message to your brain: you are important, and you are paying attention to and looking after yourself.
Let me ask you this: How many times have you said “yes” to something and immediately felt uncomfortable?
This often stems from a lack of self-confidence, which develops when we consistently ignore our self-worth and inner guidance. Instead of listening to our intuition, we prioritise the outside world and silence our inner voice.
It’s human nature, especially for women, to want to please others. Often, this desire stems from a lack of self-worth or self-confidence, leading us to seek validation from parents or other important figures. In doing so, we may ignore our intuition. If we continue to do this, it may manifest in depression, illness, or disease.
Connecting with my inner child really helps. Yes, we grow up, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore the yearnings of that beautiful inner child who sometimes simply wants to play, be spontaneous, or totally self-indulgent.
If you struggle to tune into what fills your soul, try remembering who you were as a child. What talents did you possess innately? What brought you joy? Instead: What beloved pastime required no prompting from others? Now, implement some of these things into your everyday life.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Ask for help
- Take a nap if you’re tired
- Go for a walk in nature
- Walk barefoot for a few minutes
- Get some sun on your skin (be sensible!)
- Have a shower to wash off the day before tending to your family
- Soak in a bath
- Have a massage
- Listen to inspiring music
Add to this list with anything that helps you feel nurtured and fulfilled.
Make yourself a priority by scheduling appointments in your diary with “yourself.”
It’s great that research is finally confirming self-care as a necessity, not a luxury!
It’s fascinating how the universe works!
A couple of days ago, a colleague sent me the link below, completely unaware that I was writing this article.
I encourage you to listen or watch Dr Gabor Mate as he explains succinctly the results of his studies around lack of self-care.
If we don’t prioritise ourselves and schedule time for self-care, others will inevitably fill that space with their demands and needs. It’s important to protect your health and wellbeing proactively.