At 16 years old, I tried to end my life.
The pain I carried felt unbearable, a weight I didn’t think I could survive.
But I did.
And as I reflect on my journey now, I see how resilience, healing, and purpose have shaped the woman I have become.
For much of my early life, I struggled with a deep sense of unworthiness, a belief that I wasn’t enough. I grew up in a loving home, but like many families, we didn’t talk about emotions.
I learned to suppress my pain, to be the “good girl,” to achieve and excel as a way to prove my worth. But inside, I was crumbling.
The trauma I carried was both visible and invisible. There were moments of emotional abandonment – times when I desperately needed comfort but was left to navigate my emotions alone.
There were experiences that left me feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant.
I internalised these wounds, believing that my feelings didn’t matter, that I had to handle everything on my own.
By the time I reached my teenage years, the pressure became too much. My inner pain turned into self-destructive thoughts.
I remember the night I made the decision, convinced that the world would be better off without me. But somehow, I survived. And while that night didn’t immediately change my mindset, it was the first step toward a path I never could have imagined-one of resilience, healing, and ultimately, purpose.
A Shared Struggle: My Sister Tanya
The loss of my sister Tanya was devastating, but it was a stark reminder of the impact of not healing our wounds.
She was only 38 years old when she died of a drug overdose.
Tanya and I shared the same experiences growing up – the same home, the same family, the same unspoken expectations of being “good girls” who didn’t rock the boat.
But at 18, she revealed something I never saw coming: when she was a young child, a neighbor had sexually abused her.
Hearing those words broke my heart. I had known Tanya my whole life, yet I never knew the depth of her pain. She had carried that secret alone for years, and the weight of it shaped so much of who she became.
While I turned my pain inward, struggling with self-worth and perfectionism, Tanya turned to substances to numb the unbearable memories.
I tried to help her. I wanted so badly for her to see what I had come to learn: that healing is possible, that we are not our trauma, and that we can create a different life.
But addiction is complex, and the grip of unhealed pain is strong.
Her death shattered me.
I had spent my career helping others – 30 years in social work, guiding people through their darkest moments – yet I couldn’t save my own sister.
The guilt was overwhelming. The grief, unbearable. But through that pain, I made a promise: I would keep using my voice. I would continue to share my story and my work to help others see that healing isn’t just for some – it’s for all of us.
The Path to Healing
Healing didn’t happen overnight. It took years of self-reflection, therapy, and learning to rewrite the narratives I had carried for so long.
For years, I wore perfectionism as a shield. If I could just achieve enough, be good enough, maybe I would finally feel worthy.
But the truth is, healing doesn’t come from external validation. It comes from doing the hard work of looking inward.
One of the most transformative moments of my life happened while hiking in the Canadian Rockies. Nature has always been a place of solace for me, and on this particular day, as I stood on a mountain top, something shifted.
A clear message came to me: It’s time to share your story.
For over two decades, I had dreamed of writing a book, but self-doubt held me back.
Who was I to share my story? Would people even care? But standing on that mountain, I knew the answer:
Yes.
Because if my story could help even one person, it was worth telling.
Turning Pain into Purpose
In 2023, I wrote my book, From Trauma to Triumph and What Lies Between. It became an Amazon #2 bestseller and opened doors I never expected. I stepped fully into my role as a speaker, trainer, and Women Centred Coach, helping others navigate life’s transitions, embrace resilience, and heal the wounds that hold them back.
The lessons I had to learn myself:
Quiet the Inner Critic – The voice that tells us we aren’t enough isn’t truth; it’s fear.
Learning to challenge and reframe self-doubt is key to moving forward.
Find Courage in vulnerability – Hiding behind perfectionism kept me disconnected.
True strength comes from allowing ourselves to be seen, flaws and all.
Live Authentically – When we stop trying to meet external expectations and align with our true values, we find freedom.
The Legacy I’m Building
If there’s one thing I hope people take from my journey, it’s this: Resilience isn’t about never breaking – it’s about finding the strength to rebuild.
My sister’s story didn’t have the ending I wished for, but mine is still being written. And through my work – my book, my speaking, my coaching -I am committed to helping others see that they, too, can rise.
Because healing is possible.
Because we are all capable of transforming pain into purpose.
And because even in our darkest moments, there is light ahead.