Why Women Are Pitted Against Each Other
It’s a familiar feeling, isn’t it? That subtle, sometimes not-so-subtle, sense of competition that can creep in when we’re around other women.
But let’s be clear: this isn’t some inherent “woman thing.” It’s a learned behaviour, a product of a complex web of external influences.
So, why does it happen?
Think about the world we live in. We’re constantly bombarded with images of “perfect” women, setting impossible standards for beauty. From the glossy pages of magazines to the endless scroll of social media, we’re pressured to compare and compete for validation based on our looks.
Then there’s the pervasive “scarcity mentality,” the belief that opportunities for success are limited, especially in male-dominated fields. This creates a sense of rivalry, a feeling that we must outshine each other to secure our place.
And let’s not forget how the media portrays women, often depicting them as natural rivals, reinforcing this competitive mindset.
Historically, patriarchal structures have played a significant role in fostering competition among women. Keeping women divided was a way to maintain power, a classic “divide and conquer” strategy.
Even today, the “Queen Bee” syndrome, where women in positions of power undermine others, reveals how these old norms persist. Tokenism, the practice of offering only a few “seats at the table” for women, further fuels this competition.
Psychologically, we’re conditioned from a young age to seek approval and validation, leading to constant comparison. Internalised misogyny, where we subconsciously adopt sexist attitudes, can make us see other women as rivals rather than allies. And the fear of rejection, of being excluded, can drive us to compete for acceptance.
This conditioning can be so deep-rooted that some women feel genuinely threatened by the success of others.
It’s a painful truth, but it happens.
Instead of celebrating a friend’s achievements, there’s a sense of unease, perhaps even resentment.
It’s as if another woman’s success diminishes their own, highlighting their own perceived shortcomings. This can manifest in subtle ways, like downplaying accomplishments or offering backhanded compliments.
In extreme cases, it can even lead to sabotage or a complete withdrawal of support.
Looking back, women were often limited to specific roles in society, so competition arose within those constraints. Status was often tied to men, further fostering a competitive environment.
In the modern world, workplace inequality intensifies competition as women strive to break through glass ceilings and earn recognition in male-dominated environments.
As women gain economic independence, the competition for high-paying jobs and entrepreneurial success can become fierce.
And let’s not forget the influence of social media, where highlight reels and the desire for likes and followers can fuel comparison and competition.
As gender roles evolve, we’re navigating new expectations, which can lead to competition as we redefine our roles and break down old stereotypes.
But here’s the good news: we can choose to break this cycle.
It starts with recognising these patterns and actively choosing a different path.
We need to foster collaboration, building strong, supportive networks where we celebrate each other’s wins and understand that there’s room for everyone to succeed.
We need to promote solidarity, championing each other’s goals and lifting each other up!
And crucially, we need to change the behaviours we model for young girls.
Let’s show them the power of collaboration, the beauty of celebrating each other’s strengths, and the importance of lifting each other up.
Let’s teach them that another woman’s success doesn’t diminish their own but rather inspires and empowers.
By breaking these patterns, we can create a more supportive and empowering environment for all women.
Let’s choose to lift each other up, not tear each other down.
We’re in this together!